I wonder which American president had the biggest penis.

astoryforsupper:

nooooooooelthats8os:

yourcrapsweak:

I’m going with Obama. Jsyk.

It’s obvious Clinton

I’m going with Teddy.
tulletulle:

iampirate:
Hi I need everything in this picture immediately 
my first words were HOLY SHIT

tulletulle:

iampirate:

Hi I need everything in this picture immediately

my first words were HOLY SHIT

wildhorsescouldntdragmeaway:
(via moscowandberlin)

wildhorsescouldntdragmeaway:

(via moscowandberlin)

Scenes, Jan McLaughlin

sleepanddream:

poetry365:

A. i’m looking at your face
but all i can really see
is the scab above your lip.

B. i’m sorry I keep blushing
but i can tell you’re staring
at my tits. next time
we have a conversation
perhaps you won’t find them
so compelling.

C. i couldn’t help but notice
that you’ve got “i love you”
tattooed across your knuckles.
i mean, what’re you going to do
now…

D. as we were talking, i let my hand drift into the melted air
above the candle. since it did not burn i slowed my
passes until its heat made me want to flinch
and then i slowed the pace once more and again once more.

E. i have a scar up the outside of my left arm 2 inches long.
i hardly ever see it except in mirrors.

F. Ginny placed the cigarette between us.
as she slowly did i downed another scotch
and pressed my body into hers.
the smell of burning flesh
made me look away, out above the tops of their heads
where i found the second hand
and stared until it was over.

(via atoms)

(via atoms)

atoms:
apple fritter (via louveciennes)

atoms:

apple fritter (via louveciennes)
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it’s time to get up.
Author Unknown (via iamblessed) (via quote-book)

textsfromlastnight

love this website

merricat:
(via lioncub)

merricat:

(via lioncub)

Fact: Fetuses masturbate while in the womb.

(via astoryforsupper)

alishalisha:
Basically.

alishalisha:

Basically.
I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7 (via unsolvedmysteries)
omgskins:
(via toonumb)

omgskins:

(via toonumb)
unsolvedmysteries:

too good.
selectedworks:

fuckyeahdeathcab:

ohmygah:

Ben Gibbard, Andy Samberg, and Will Arnett at a Death Cab For Cutie album release.

unsolvedmysteries:

too good.

selectedworks:

fuckyeahdeathcab:

ohmygah:

Ben Gibbard, Andy Samberg, and Will Arnett at a Death Cab For Cutie album release.

It’s human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.
Ashleigh Brilliant (via simko)